2018 was an incredible year of my life in which all my dreams came true. When I was in college, I created a goals list - I wanted to pay my educational loan, get married to the man I liked(which wasn't easy in my family), pay for all marriage ceremonies independently, and buy a house. In early 2018 I paid the last installment of my educational loan, mid of 2018 I got married, I made sure my father doesn't have to pay for any functions. Towards the end of 2018, I bought a flat in Chennai.
Life was supposed to be fantastic, but it didn't turn out that way.
But wasn't everything rosy? What could have gone wrong then?
As 2019 started, I was sad and disappointed. Everything was perfect in my life with a loving husband and a beautiful home, but still, I was unhappy. Imagine I was only twenty-seven years old, and I had achieved all my goals. So early in my life, I had no other dreams left. I spent some time thinking of what I could do next. The only pending thing I could think of was buying a car or going on a foreign trip. Even though these two things were not important to me in reality, I convinced myself it is. Till mid-2019, I kept fighting with myself and wondering if the only purpose of my life is to pay a home loan and car loan and save the rest of my money for going on vacations. I didn't know a term for the struggle I am going through existed - 'Identity crisis.'
One day I was watching Ted Talks in which the orator told a remarkable story of an elephant tied to a rope. Here is the story.
A man was passing by and suddenly saw a giant elephant tied with a small rope. He was amazed at how a small rope can hold such a giant creature. He asked the trainer why it doesn't try to get away. The trainer said, "When these elephants were young, we tied them using a similar size rope. As they grow, they get conditioned to believe the rope can hold them back, and eventually stop trying."
Image source: pinterest
Ted talks finished in fifteen minutes, but that story lasted long with me. I could see an invisible rope around me holding me back, and I, too, wasn't trying enough. I spent hours alone to find what else I can do with my life. I created a new goal list this time with things I genuinely wanted but held back, thinking it may not be feasible to achieve them. I disentangled myself that day which added depth, vision, and purpose to my life. Today I say it loudly I was never happier than this!
Disentangle yourself today!