No one picked my call
Updated: Jul 13, 2021
29 October 2019
After a long hard day at work, I boarded a bus on the way home. I was coming back home from a job I didn't enjoy. I had a sigh of relief that this day is over. But I knew the pain would come back tomorrow. I wanted to talk to someone and called my dad, but the line kept ringing with no response. I called everyone close to me – my husband, cousins, aunt, mentor, and few friends but no one picked my call. I checked phone contacts to look for anyone else I could talk to, hundreds of contacts, but no one I could call. I put the phone back in the bag in disappointment. I kept thinking about why no one seems to have time for me or if it was my fault that I was not in touch with them anymore. Work kept me occupied; I hardly spoke to anyone.
The bus was about to move, and a girl came and sat next to me. I smiled at her, but she didn't smile back. It turned awkward, and I started looking out from the window. There were many vehicles making noise, but all I could hear was the deep silence inside me.
A sense of loneliness trapped me and took me back to my past, and I suddenly found myself in the room of my childhood home. I was all alone in the room and crying as my parents were in the hospital. I was calling out for my parents aloud, but they didn't answer. I covered my face in a blanket and continued to sob. I then heard a laugh; I removed the blanket and sat on a swing in a park next to my high school. I was crying after a classmate body-shamed me. I was swinging too fast and fell from the swing to a room in my previous apartment where I had a nasty fight with a close friend and felt lonely. I wanted to cry aloud, shout and vent out anger. I lost track of where I was and suddenly heard someone shouting.
The bus reached my stop; the conductor was shouting the bus stop name. I rushed towards the door and got down from the bus. It was a long journey back home; I relived all the terrible moments of my life. I opened the handbag to take out a napkin to wipe my face and noticed my cell phone vibrating. I didn't remember turning on the silent mode. It was a call from my dad, and he burst out, "Where were you? I have been calling you for a while. I was busy with some work when you called."
I continued talking to him and started walking towards home. I rechecked my phone; there were many missed calls and messages. Mostly everyone called back or messaged. At that moment, I wished I had never put the phone on silent.
I reached home and rang the doorbell. I was in the mood to fight with my husband, Chandrashekhar, to not even call and ask why I called him. But he opened the door, and to my surprise, he welcomed me inside to a dining table decorated with candles and my favorite dish. He spent the entire evening cooking.
"Where is your phone?" I asked.
"I was busy cooking, didn't check my phone for a while, did you call me?"
I sat down for dinner and started laughing at myself. Chandrashekhar asked for a reason behind my smile, and all I was thinking was, "loneliness is a vicious thought !".
You are never alone!